argh! i hate myself for..
-being so fat and not doing anything about it.
-allowing myself to gain so much in the first place, so i deserve being fat.
-always saying i wanna save money but i can't..

since the day baby and me got together, i gained a total of 6kg now. and i'm taking it so easily.. but i can't looking myself in the mirror or when i can't fit into pretty clothes. really frustrating. but i'm not doing anything! i still eat so much. like wtf, i know i totally deserve this. i wanna get those determination back from 5 years back.. i will never be below 50kg. i forsee myself to be a fat and ugly, and unglam auntie in the future.
that stupid boy, i asked him the other night, "baby, what do you love about me?" he said a few points that made me really happy. but the last point, totally destroyed everything. he said, "you used to have a quite hot figure.." wth. haha wanna bash him up after he said that.


I SWEAR IM GOING TO SAVE UP THIS TIME!  ¶ 11:48 PM